Goth nursery decor.
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by Liya
When a woman finds out she is pregnant it can be one of the most surreal moments of her life. She goes from her normal self to feeling completely different. Literally in a single moment a mother is born. And then somehow we go from sheer joy and expectancy, hope and exuberance to being bombarded with statements like -
“You should keep things private in the event of a loss, you’ll want to keep your news under wraps until the risk of miscarriage drops dramatically.”
It’s sort of an unwritten “thing” so many of us do. We wait and sit on our news for three months before welcoming the love and more importantly, the support of our families and our village. Don’t get me wrong, I too, have done this. I followed suit, no questions asked. As it’s what I had seen done over and over again. But then the other day as I sat and thought about this idea of keeping a new life a secret, all to avoid the discomfort of having to tell people bad news in the case of a miscarriage and I wanted to challenge the thought for just a second.
Doesn’t a new mom-to-be not only deserve, but need the support of her village either way?
We as a culture have sort of subconsciously created this stigma surrounding sharing birth news early on. I feel like support is crucial whether in the celebration of a birth or in mourning the loss of a child. Whether a woman is enjoying a smooth, uneventful pregnancy or is living through the loss of her child, she should not feel scared or like she needs to hide. It should be just as much a family or village experience as a birth would be. Focused, supportive, loving energy surrounding her.
I desire, and challenge you, to tear down these places of isolation we have created for mamas and gather around in love, kindness, strength and togetherness.
After all we are stronger together!
“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”
— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
There’s two types of Autumn:
And I love them both!
“A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven’t. Most don’t mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn’t happened, so people imagine that a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she’ll know.”
— Barbara Kingsolver